Amusing or Intriguing typos/malaprops

Amusing or Intriguing typos/malaprops

Every once in a while, I come across a fan fic containing some unintentional humor, and I thought I would pass one on I came across today. Considering the big deal JKR made about how awful potions taste, I found it especially amusing.

"she made her way to the kitchen and took out a vile of pain relieving potion"


Comments

Another

Found another that struck me as amusing, from a review.

"look at Tom Riddle's dairy"

Evil cows? Poison milk?

duckster wrote: "she made
duckster wrote:

"she made her way to the kitchen and took out a vile of pain relieving potion"

Ironically enough, I came across one the other day in which a potion tasted "vial" (sic).

Some of these people are lucky they're not posting on a wiki, or else they'd be edited to shreds.

More

You've set out a fine lure, so I await more responses with baited breath.

I have an extensive file on this.

There is a word processor file called 'irritating mistakes' that sits on my desktop. I open it and add to it every time I encounter a new one. Vial/Vile was just added. I now submit for your perusal a few of my favorites.

Understanded - Yes, I actually read a story that used this… word.
Regime / regimen - I forget the story, but a character referred to his training regime.
Raise / raze - I'm sure the author didn't mean to have the characters raze their children.
Diffuse / defuse - There was talk of how to diffuse the situation.
Yoke / yolk - I don't remember the exact wording, but there was talk of throwing off the yolk of oppression.

Presents / presence - There was talk of opening Christmas presence. This one I think came from 'Erasing The Future' by Moxterminator.

These next two, I know came from 'Erasing The Future'.
Suspect / expect -- Come on… Seriously? Not once was expect used in this story. Suspect was always used in its place. Something along the lines of "I suspect you to have that room clean by the time I come up there." Multiple instances of the word 'suspect' being used instead of expect.

Definitely / defiantly --- Um… What? Again the author did not once use 'definitely'. Instead the word 'defiantly' was always inserted in its place.

Come to think of it, that story was rife with many such errors. There are a few places where the author mentions his/her betas. I wonder what those betas have caught, considering what they let through.

jediprankster wrote: There
jediprankster wrote:

There is a word processor file called 'irritating mistakes' that sits on my desktop. I open it and add to it every time I encounter a new one. Vial/Vile was just added. I now submit for your perusal a few of my favorites.

Understanded - Yes, I actually read a story that used this… word.
Regime / regimen - I forget the story, but a character referred to his training regime.
Raise / raze - I'm sure the author didn't mean to have the characters raze their children.
Diffuse / defuse - There was talk of how to diffuse the situation.
Yoke / yolk - I don't remember the exact wording, but there was talk of throwing off the yolk of oppression.

Presents / presence - There was talk of opening Christmas presence. This one I think came from 'Erasing The Future' by Moxterminator.

These next two, I know came from 'Erasing The Future'.
Suspect / expect -- Come on… Seriously? Not once was expect used in this story. Suspect was always used in its place. Something along the lines of "I suspect you to have that room clean by the time I come up there." Multiple instances of the word 'suspect' being used instead of expect.

Definitely / defiantly --- Um… What? Again the author did not once use 'definitely'. Instead the word 'defiantly' was always inserted in its place.

Come to think of it, that story was rife with many such errors. There are a few places where the author mentions his/her betas. I wonder what those betas have caught, considering what they let through.

Well, I don't beta for Moxy (the author of Erasing the Future), but I beta for Mrs. Sniffy. I usually end up kicking myself after seeing the chapter after she posted it because I tend to find things that I overlooked. On more than one occasion I've asked her to get at least one other beta so that if something does get through, I don't feel so bad.


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

SSHenry is also prone to

SSHenry is also prone to using the wrong word consistently through her stories... the most glaring was her use of the word detrimental where I believe she actually meant essential...

-SC

Well, I don't beta for Moxy

Well, I don't beta for Moxy (the author of Erasing the Future), but I beta for Mrs. Sniffy. I usually end up kicking myself after seeing the chapter after she posted it because I tend to find things that I overlooked. On more than one occasion I've asked her to get at least one other beta so that if something does get through, I don't feel so bad.

Perhaps being an editor isn't a career path you should consider?

jediprankster wrote: There
jediprankster wrote:

There is a word processor file called 'irritating mistakes' that sits on my desktop. I open it and add to it every time I encounter a new one. Vial/Vile was just added. I now submit for your perusal a few of my favorites.

Regime / regimen - I forget the story, but a character referred to his training regime.

Well, over here, that is what you'll hear.

From OED for regime:

1. Originally: {dag}the regulation of aspects of life that affect a person's health or welfare (occas. without article) (obs.). Hence: a particular course of diet, exercise, medication, etc., prescribed or adopted for the restoration or preservation of health.

Under regimen:

Regimen rather than regime is now the usual word in the United States and in Med.; in British English regime is more usual.

bransfolly wrote: Well, I
bransfolly wrote:

Well, I don't beta for Moxy (the author of Erasing the Future), but I beta for Mrs. Sniffy. I usually end up kicking myself after seeing the chapter after she posted it because I tend to find things that I overlooked. On more than one occasion I've asked her to get at least one other beta so that if something does get through, I don't feel so bad.

Perhaps being an editor isn't a career path you should consider?

Well, usually I find a lot of mistakes but betaing for Mrs. Sniffy is hard. English isn't her first language. She's getting a lot better since I first started betaing for her but occasionally she still makes serious mistakes that are really hard for me the catch unless I am completely focused which is extreme hard for me to be with living at home with both parents who don't seem to get it that I can not stand a person talking to me when I'm trying to concentrate. When someone talks to me when I am trying to concentrate on something, it literally feels like someone has walked up to me a slapped me across the face and I go into deference mode (as far back as I remember, I've been like that). I have tried not lash out but its so hard. At least with instant messaging I have a chance to get a hold of myself before replying.


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

Parakletos beat me to it. I

Parakletos beat me to it. I was going to say um, it is regime, pronounced ray-sheem.

parakletos wrote: Well,
parakletos wrote:

Well, over here, that is what you'll hear.

From OED for regime:

1. Originally: {dag}the regulation of aspects of life that affect a person's health or welfare (occas. without article) (obs.). Hence: a particular course of diet, exercise, medication, etc., prescribed or adopted for the restoration or preservation of health.

Under regimen:

Regimen rather than regime is now the usual word in the United States and in Med.; in British English regime is more usual.

I have been enlightened.
The following is from merriam-webster.com:

Main Entry: re·gime
Variant(s): also ré·gime \rā-ˈzhēm, ri- also ri-ˈjēm\
Function: noun
Etymology: French régime, from Old French regimen, regime, from Late Latin regimin-, regimen
Date: 1776

1 a : regimen 1 b : a regular pattern of occurrence or action (as of seasonal rainfall) c : the characteristic behavior or orderly procedure of a natural phenomenon or process
2 a : mode of rule or management b : a form of government c : a government in power d : a period of rule

George Bernard Shaw is quoted as having said, "England and America are two countries separated by a common language." This would be a decent example, though one of the less extreme ones. Here in the U.S., number 2 is the only one I have ever heard used. Though if I had thought about it, I would have realized that both words come from the same root. I am curious if any others on my list are actually not errors. I was quite irritated by an author's use of the word 'disorientated' until I looked it up and found that it was actually not wrong. Now I only find it annoying. Mainly because it sounds so strange to my ears.

Just scored a glorious one…

I'm reading a crack-fic titled "Never Piss Off A Potter". I assume it's supposed to be a crack-fic, because otherwise the author seriously needs to go and lie down for a couple of decades ;-)

Anyway, I just stumbled across this rather wonderful comment:

Quote:

Because of the unique nature of this wedding, the couples have decided to write their own vowels.

I could go on all day quoting ridiculous stuff from this story, but I won't. If you want to read the whole thing, hold on to your hat, you will need it:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4911079

The others you quoted look

The others you quoted look correct, jediprankster. I hate orientated or disorientated - I prefer oriented/disoriented. It sounds better. *shrug*

Here's one that's annoyed me lately - pot plant.

That's what we call a plant in a pot here in Australia. Americans always think I am talking of marijuana *headdesk*. Potted plant just sounds ridiculous to me! I put it in a fic once and I had a well meaning reviewer try to correct me. "I think you mean potted plant"

No. I don't.

Kezzabear wrote: The others
Kezzabear wrote:

The others you quoted look correct, jediprankster. I hate orientated or disorientated - I prefer oriented/disoriented. It sounds better. *shrug*

Here's one that's annoyed me lately - pot plant.

That's what we call a plant in a pot here in Australia. Americans always think I am talking of marijuana *headdesk*. Potted plant just sounds ridiculous to me! I put it in a fic once and I had a well meaning reviewer try to correct me. "I think you mean potted plant"

No. I don't.

I remember like seven, eight years ago one of my British friends and I were in a chat room where nearly everyone except for him was from the US. He went to go say his mother woke him up at 5 in the morning except he didn't say it in a way that Americans would understand. He said, "My mum knocked me up at five this morning." I think I was the only American in the chat room that knew what he meant. Everyone was like, "WHAT!!!???" and he was confused. I had to explain to him what knocked up meant in American. His reply was, "What is it with you Americans and sex?" You just got to love differences in cultures.


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

Well we use knocked up here!

Well we use knocked up here! LOL

Up the Duff is more Australian though *evil grin*

Its best to avoid using

Its best to avoid using slang because of differences in culture. Just because we all speak English doesn't mean we all use the same slang, idioms, etc.


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

loose/lose to/too

Is there a culture out there where loose is the opposite of win instead of lose? It seems to me that I see loose more often (and not in the sense of not tight) in fan fiction. I also see an inordinate use of to for also instead of too. Is this correct anywhere?

duckster wrote: Is there a
duckster wrote:

Is there a culture out there where loose is the opposite of win instead of lose? It seems to me that I see loose more often (and not in the sense of not tight) in fan fiction. I also see an inordinate use of to for also instead of too. Is this correct anywhere?

The answer to both is, not that I'm aware of.

omega13b wrote: Its best to
omega13b wrote:

Its best to avoid using slang because of differences in culture. Just because we all speak English doesn't mean we all use the same slang, idioms, etc.


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

Wouldn't it be appropriate to use the slang, colloquialisms, idioms etc of the culture of your characters? A character who speaks without some slang or colloquialism is probably going to seem stiff and unnatural.

Besides, it is very easy to use a colloquialism without even knowing it's peculiar to your region, thinking all English speaking people use it. I recently discovered that the USA is probably the only place in the world where 'Disco' is considered a theme and not an event. A whole bunch of Americans got distressed when the Australians and Europeans made 'the disco' into a luau because the theme was disco. We're all standing around scratching our heads going, dude, disco just means it's a dance with popular, contemporary music. There was quite the standoff until we realised that the word has a different meaning in the US ... like pot plant.

NotACat wrote: I'm reading
NotACat wrote:

I'm reading a crack-fic titled "Never Piss Off A Potter". I assume it's supposed to be a crack-fic, because otherwise the author seriously needs to go and lie down for a couple of decades ;-)

Anyway, I just stumbled across this rather wonderful comment:

Quote:

Because of the unique nature of this wedding, the couples have decided to write their own vowels.

I could go on all day quoting ridiculous stuff from this story, but I won't. If you want to read the whole thing, hold on to your hat, you will need it:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4911079

This is really not a good fic. I would only bother reading it to feel superior about my own writing (which I'm pretty sure ranks in the suckish category).

New one

This thread hasn't really panned out the way I thought it would. To give it a jump start for one last try, from a review:

"he can concentrate on the finding the 'Soles of Voldemort'"

Voldemort is now a cobbler? A foot fetishist?

"Lubricus!" shouted Harry,

"Lubricus!" shouted Harry, aiming his wand at Vernon. The spell was supposed to be able to slice through human flesh and if aimed correctly, it could cut through an artery, causing a person to bleed to death. The spell connected with the flesh of the illusion in the Room, connecting right to the throat. Harry watched as simulated blood had dripped from the throat before Vernon crashed to the ground.

Adjective

lūbricus m. (feminine lūbrica, neuter lūbricum); first/second declension

1. slippery, slimy
2. fleeting
3. inconstant
4. deceitful
5. hazardous, unsteady

I wonder…
parakletos wrote:

lūbricus m. (feminine lūbrica, neuter lūbricum); first/second declension

1. slippery, slimy

…which word they were actually intending to use there. My Latin isn't nearly good enough to guess.

Apart from anything else, the word they did use immediately makes me think of something much less SFW than the original context, although you could use a lubrication spell in combat: say you applied it to the floor, or your opponents footwear ;-)

NotACat wrote: parakletos
NotACat wrote:
parakletos wrote:

lūbricus m. (feminine lūbrica, neuter lūbricum); first/second declension

1. slippery, slimy

…which word they were actually intending to use there. My Latin isn't nearly good enough to guess.

Apart from anything else, the word they did use immediately makes me think of something much less SFW than the original context, although you could use a lubrication spell in combat: say you applied it to the floor, or your opponents footwear ;-)

I read a story where an almost 11 year old Harry 'died' and Lily was teaching him useful spells while he was at the cross roads of life and death. Lily said that using a laundry folding spell is a good way to distract an opponent...


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

typos

Right now I can't think of amusing or intriguing typos, rather the annoying and irritating ones come to mind:

- the random and indiscriminate use of there, their, they're
- the mix-up of your/you're
- the use of wait/waited/waiting on instead of for
- the mix-up of its/it's ;-)

Sometimes there are sentences in stories that are so mutilated and messed up that they don't make any sense and I can't even properly guess what the author really meant. If that happens too often I usually stop reading that story.

typos

Hey, mistakes like those? Their easy to make. It ain't the authors fault, its you're fault you can't ignore them.

I'll wait on your response.

Brilliant, I've never seen

Brilliant, I've never seen those mistakes so concentrated before.

By the way, I do in no way claim to be perfect, as a German I can't be ;-).

more typos (?)

I thought of two more:

- the mix-up of lie, lay, lain and lay, laid, laid
- onto instead of on to

But I think those are wrong grammar rather than typos.

Vespers wrote: Hey,
Vespers wrote:

Hey, mistakes like those? Their easy to make. It ain't the authors fault, its you're fault you can't ignore them.

I'll wait on your response.

Troll alert! :p

parakletos wrote: Troll
parakletos wrote:

Troll alert! :p

Wingardium Leviosa should solve that problem! Just keep the wand out of the nose, please.

"Harry lied awake in bed

"Harry lied awake in bed that night for a long time racking his brain for any spell that might help him get past a dragon but he was coming up empty handed."

Lied awake? Is that pretending to be asleep when you are awake?


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

correctly incorrect
omega13b wrote:

"Harry lied awake in bed that night for a long time racking his brain for any spell that might help him get past a dragon but he was coming up empty handed."

Sorry to be pedantic, but it really should be ...get passed a dragon

I've seen that one a few times.

Here's one I just found: 'I

Here's one I just found:

'I assure you that I have no pleasure in being here,' Severus drawled calmly. 'I merely wished to endure that Mr Potter receives his letter.'


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

Quote: "So where did you
Quote:

"So where did you go, Severus," Dumbledore asked.

"I went out," Snape answered, "I needed to make sure that no one had broken into my house."

"Well if that's all," Dumbledore said, "But I do hope that you don't have any plains to go against me."

Land that can plot against you... I don't know of anyone who would be interested in buying some.


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

Phil42 wrote: omega13b
Phil42 wrote:
omega13b wrote:

"Harry lied awake in bed that night for a long time racking his brain for any spell that might help him get past a dragon but he was coming up empty handed."

Sorry to be pedantic, but it really should be ...get passed a dragon

I've seen that one a few times.

You jest, surely?

parakletos wrote: Phil42
parakletos wrote:
Phil42 wrote:
omega13b wrote:

"Harry lied awake in bed that night for a long time racking his brain for any spell that might help him get past a dragon but he was coming up empty handed."

Sorry to be pedantic, but it really should be ...get passed a dragon

I've seen that one a few times.

You jest, surely?

Well, of course.

That's why I chose the subject "Correctly incorrect". It was supposed to mean that if you're about to mess up a sentence, at least do it properly. I wanted to say that the sentence starting with "Harry lied in bed..." could do with the additional mistake of "get passed a dragon". I apologize for not being obvious enough with the irony.

Back to topic: I found this one yesterday: ...and given your recent assent into legal majority,

*facepalm*

I've read several stories with sentences like "As she entered the room she saw and House-Elf."
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian

Phil42 wrote: parakletos
Phil42 wrote:
parakletos wrote:
Phil42 wrote:
omega13b wrote:

"Harry lied awake in bed that night for a long time racking his brain for any spell that might help him get past a dragon but he was coming up empty handed."

Sorry to be pedantic, but it really should be ...get passed a dragon

I've seen that one a few times.

You jest, surely?

Well, of course.

That's why I chose the subject "Correctly incorrect". It was supposed to mean that if you're about to mess up a sentence, at least do it properly. I wanted to say that the sentence starting with "Harry lied in bed..." could do with the additional mistake of "get passed a dragon". I apologize for not being obvious enough with the irony.

Back to topic: I found this one yesterday: ...and given your recent assent into legal majority,

Sorry, my new job has fried my brain.

parakletos wrote: Sorry, my
parakletos wrote:

Sorry, my new job has fried my brain.

Better than the job having fired your brain (I've seen that one, too).

Sovran wrote: parakletos
Sovran wrote:
parakletos wrote:

Sorry, my new job has fried my brain.

Better than the job having fired your brain (I've seen that one, too).

My last one did that. :-)

While browsing another

While browsing another thread I came upon a message about one of the earlier 'go back' time travel fics. So off I went to find it. Now I'm hoping that the poster got the author wrong and the fic name correct as they don't match.

Amusingly this fic "Harry Potter and the Time Mage by MaxFic" has several hundred misuses of words. It appears to me that the author's primary language is not English, or he/she has no command of their word processing software.

Spell checkers cannot solve grammar issues, and perhaps in this case one made a disaster out of it. Every few pages there are words that sound the same but do not mean the same. It was so bad I couldn't finish the fic. there were some rather notable examples, but I leave that to you, fine reader, to discover. (It is also nothing but a cliche' fest, so enjoy)

Truly it is the worst example I have come upon in quite some time.

'They are just children

'They are just children don't hurt them.' Ginny said sounding disparate for them to not hurt the children.

All those time travel fics are finally taking their toll on the poor girl.

two more

...I was desperately trying to reign in my anger.

I found this one in Harry Potter and the Transfer Student, but I just picked that source because I'm reading the story at the moment. I've read that mistake quite a few times before.

Oh, and I'm sure I've seen someone waive their hand/wand in quite a few stories as well.

*guilts a bit*
squidtamer wrote:

While browsing another thread I came upon a message about one of the earlier 'go back' time travel fics. So off I went to find it. Now I'm hoping that the poster got the author wrong and the fic name correct as they don't match.

Amusingly this fic "Harry Potter and the Time Mage by MaxFic" has several hundred misuses of words. It appears to me that the author's primary language is not English, or he/she has no command of their word processing software.

Spell checkers cannot solve grammar issues, and perhaps in this case one made a disaster out of it. Every few pages there are words that sound the same but do not mean the same. It was so bad I couldn't finish the fic. there were some rather notable examples, but I leave that to you, fine reader, to discover. (It is also nothing but a cliche' fest, so enjoy)

Truly it is the worst example I have come upon in quite some time.

Sadly, once you at least try to ignore the grammar issues, it's quite good in my mush-for-brains opinion. It's a shame that it isn't properly beta'ed . Then again, ignoring is easier for me, since even though I try to be a grammar nazi, my first language is Finnish. Well, at least I have better English than most Finns my age.. :D
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian

Pearl wrote: squidtamer
Pearl wrote:
squidtamer wrote:

While browsing another thread I came upon a message about one of the earlier 'go back' time travel fics. So off I went to find it. Now I'm hoping that the poster got the author wrong and the fic name correct as they don't match.

Amusingly this fic "Harry Potter and the Time Mage by MaxFic" has several hundred misuses of words. It appears to me that the author's primary language is not English, or he/she has no command of their word processing software.

Spell checkers cannot solve grammar issues, and perhaps in this case one made a disaster out of it. Every few pages there are words that sound the same but do not mean the same. It was so bad I couldn't finish the fic. there were some rather notable examples, but I leave that to you, fine reader, to discover. (It is also nothing but a cliche' fest, so enjoy)

Truly it is the worst example I have come upon in quite some time.

Sadly, once you at least try to ignore the grammar issues, it's quite good in my mush-for-brains opinion. It's a shame that it isn't properly beta'ed . Then again, ignoring is easier for me, since even though I try to be a grammar nazi, my first language is Finnish. Well, at least I have better English than most Finns my age.. :D
----------------------------------------------------------------

I tend to be a lot more forgiving of SPAG mistakes if there's a story. Sadly, the two deficiencies tend to be related.

...
Phil42 wrote:

Back to topic: I found this one yesterday: ...and given your recent assent into legal majority,

"Free life" by fake a smile? Just read that one.

Anyway, there's a lot of confusion between pensive and pensieve when talking about an interesting magical object. And sometimes even while describing someone's mood.

Names, names, names

Lily/Lilly
Parvati/Pavarti
Severus/Serverus <-- yes, they actually use that sometimes!!
Moony/Mooney
Pomfrey/Pomphrey
Quirinus/Quinnius

Tonks'/Tonk's, James'/Jame's etc...
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian

Some more
Pearl wrote:

"Free life" by fake a smile? Just read that one.

Spot-on.

I found a few in The Natural Animagus that may actually be in accordance with the thread title:

Excuse me, Mrs. Figg. Dudley has wondered too far.

Harry was bored with the coarse work in this class.

Herboloby

They went to the pub for some butterbear

He apoligized to Harry

Christmas came and left with little fan fare

You probably do not know that Quirrell was most likely possessed by the wondering spirit of Voldemort.

I should have been given veritas serum.

Professor Lockhart would likely always be a conceited boor and useless teacher.

Warlocks' Statue of Secrecy

and there were reported sights everywhere

She might as well say she had two sisters now, for all tense and purposes.

After desert was served,

but one's beside manner is more effective

which had authority to review Ministry proscribed teaching standards, and control of extra-circular activity.

Her quarters were tripled warded.

You are emancipated, and independently wealthy.

Voldemort had a long discussion at him.

"Rastaban," he continued,

And yes, I made a list and c&p'ed them there.

A couple of quibbles
Phil42 wrote:

I found a few in The Natural Animagus that may actually be in accordance with the thread title:

Professor Lockhart would likely always be a conceited boor and useless teacher.

I don't see what's wrong with this one

Phil42 wrote:

You are emancipated, and independently wealthy.

…or this one.

The name is Potter Black!

"You'll have to stop that Ms. Tonks," McGonagall said smirking behind her whine glass, "Or poor Remus will melt from the heat in his face."

The Marauders (or Marauder wannabes) have struck again! You can find the new, trendy pranking device in the closest WWW shop.

----------------------------------------------------------------
"Night falls and I'm running in circles (Whoa-oh-oh)
I'm being chased by my imagination (Whoa-oh-oh)"
Alesana - The Thespian

Inseparable

"Being under the indivisibility cloak with Ginny was an unusual experience for Harry"

I've heard it said that a couple can be inseparable, but this is getting ridiculous! ;-)

-SC

omega13b wrote: "Harry lied
omega13b wrote:

"Harry lied awake in bed that night for a long time racking his brain for any spell that might help him get past a dragon but he was coming up empty handed."

Lied awake? Is that pretending to be asleep when you are awake?

I think it means pretending to be awake when you're actually asleep.

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read" Groucho Marks

Too tired?
Quote:

“They weren’t Death Eaters. At that time, there was a two tired sort of system."

Came across this last night while reading "Continuum".

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read" Groucho Marks

Misspelling

I came upon a story with the word "Unespected".........I mean Siriusly?!?!?!

Pearl
Pearl wrote:

Lily/Lilly
Parvati/Pavarti
Severus/Serverus <-- yes, they actually use that sometimes!!
Moony/Mooney
Pomfrey/Pomphrey
Quirinus/Quinnius

When proof reading one of my a chapter for one of my stories, I discovered that in all but one place I had called Snape Snake. I hate to think what kind of reviews I would have got if I posted it that way...


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

Some small excuse?
Pearl wrote:

Parvati/Pavarti

I'm guessing this is fuelled by the way Emma-as-Hermione says the name in the films. The particular instance I recall is when she's passing on that convoluted chain of messages during "Goblet of Fire"…having said which I haven't seen any of the movies recently enough to recall any other instances.

I ought to rewatch them, I guess ;-)

Just read this one

Just read this one today:

Quote:

They had managed to escape the house, where everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to find all of their various positions, and were enjoying the peace and quiet of the garden.

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read" Groucho Marks

Chrysanthemum wrote: Just
Chrysanthemum wrote:

Just read this one today:

Quote:

They had managed to escape the house, where everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to find all of their various positions, and were enjoying the peace and quiet of the garden.

Well, back to the drawing board for me.

Sovran
SiblingCreature wrote:

"Being under the indivisibility cloak with Ginny was an unusual experience for Harry"

I've heard it said that a couple can be inseparable, but this is getting ridiculous! ;-)

-SC

You should take that up with Sovran, amirite?

Also: Sovran, should you happen to read this, I've a question. Were you the "Sovran" who worked on a BG2 dialogue pack? Doubtful to be sure, but I did see your username and it raised my curiosity.

Baulder's Gate?

I assume you mean Baulder's (sp) Gate 2? I did play a bit, but I don't recall working on any dialogue packs. I have been "Sovran" in EQ, WoW, SWG, and NWN for various (unhealthy) lengths of time which are now all past.

some more...

Without hesitation, Ginny pulled her wand and banished the chest set into the wall.
(The Bonds of Blood)

Oh, another great one I just remembered:

'How could I have been so selfish?' Harry silently castrated himself.
(Taking Control)

Ginny will be sooo disappointed!

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Marrying for love was not forbidden, it just didn't make any sense.
Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

Theatre class
rbackwards wrote:
Chrysanthemum wrote:

Just read this one today:

Quote:

They had managed to escape the house, where everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to find all of their various positions, and were enjoying the peace and quiet of the garden.

Well, back to the drawing board for me.

I had flashbacks to Theatre arts class while reading this. The instructor would call out a random situation and we had about 10 seconds to run around and arrange ourselves into a tableau of it.

Sovran wrote: I assume you
Sovran wrote:

I assume you mean Baulder's (sp) Gate 2? I did play a bit, but I don't recall working on any dialogue packs. I have been "Sovran" in EQ, WoW, SWG, and NWN for various (unhealthy) lengths of time which are now all past.

And here I was about to ask which server you played WoW on.

Beats me

I honestly don't even remember my server from WoW. It's been too long, and I'm pretty sure my group of friends has switched servers since then.

Sovran wrote: I honestly
Sovran wrote:

I honestly don't even remember my server from WoW. It's been too long, and I'm pretty sure my group of friends has switched servers since then.

What playing WoW - and other ganes- has given me a view of magic on the move and in a fight. I started to read a series of books where the author based the combat on the D20 games he played at uni, even to the point of organising the group as they went through hostile areas in the same way; Tank at the front, squishies in the middle etc. Makes sense but still read like diary scene.. 'tonight the DM took us into a haunted wood...'.

Everything is a weapon, if applied correctly
omega13b wrote:

I read a story where an almost 11 year old Harry 'died' and Lily was teaching him useful spells while he was at the cross roads of life and death. Lily said that using a laundry folding spell is a good way to distract an opponent...

I can believe that. Let's see if you can focus on your Expelliarmus when I use my laundry-folding spell on your undercrackers...

Lurching a little closer to the theme of this thread, one story I've been following introduced a very minor female character for a couple of paragraphs. Nothing unusual there. Her name, though?

Bertram.

Yes, really.
_______________________________
Standing here in my Reckless Hat

I despair sometimes…
Reckless Rat wrote:

Lurching a little closer to the theme of this thread, one story I've been following introduced a very minor female character for a couple of paragraphs. Nothing unusual there. Her name, though?

Bertram.

If that's the same story I'm following, her full name is "Bertram Aubrey" which leads me to believe the author meant to call her "Aubrey Bertram" but messed it up.

If you think that's unlikely, I called another author on their misnaming of "Cuthbert Mockridge" as "Mockridge Cuthbert", over and over in a long-running story, and they basically said they couldn't be bothered to fix it now. And he's a canonical character, so if they can't even follow canon

From "Betrayal"

We feel that it is our duty to inform you that the release of prisoner number 21414116, namely Mr. Lucius Malfoy, is emanate.

From "The Bonds of Blood"

The fact that Walburga was already a Black when she marred her second cousin Orion was not lost on anyone.

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Marrying for love was not forbidden, it just didn't make any sense.
Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

NotACat wrote: If that's
NotACat wrote:

If that's the same story I'm following, her full name is "Bertram Aubrey" which leads me to believe the author meant to call her "Aubrey Bertram" but messed it up.

Yes, that's the one. I did consider the possibility that the author had got it the wrong way around, but the only Aubrey I could think of was Patrick O'Brien's "Lucky Jack". I didn't know it was also a first name (Unisex, apparently) without some googlebashing.

Cheers,

The Rat
_______________________________
Standing here in my Reckless Hat

Reckless Rat
Reckless Rat wrote:
NotACat wrote:

If that's the same story I'm following, her full name is "Bertram Aubrey" which leads me to believe the author meant to call her "Aubrey Bertram" but messed it up.

Yes, that's the one. I did consider the possibility that the author had got it the wrong way around, but the only Aubrey I could think of was Patrick O'Brien's "Lucky Jack". I didn't know it was also a first name (Unisex, apparently) without some googlebashing.

Cheers,

The Rat
_______________________________
Standing here in my Reckless Hat

Bertram Aubrey is mentioned in HBP and is a male name

I took a firm hold on my

I took a firm hold on my skepticism and started the first chapter of "A Butterfly Effect." I haven't gotten very far, but I had to share this tidbit:

"He moved slowly towards the door, careful of where he placed his feet so as to not stomp on the tails of any of the other pups from the liter."

How many puppies are in a liter? Why must they be measured this way? I picture some sort of dispensary where you can walk up and say, "I'd like two liters of puppies to go, please. With extra ketchup."

I know it's a very easy and very common typo, but the circumstances amused me.

If I remember correctly . . .
. . . the average adult human is about 3 cubic feet of matter (mostly water). So a liter of puppies is one not much -- 1/28th of a cubic foot, or about 1/90th of a human. Perhaps the more important question - is that liter o' puppy a pâté, or puree? *Whistling*
Sovran wrote: I took a firm
Sovran wrote:

I took a firm hold on my skepticism and started the first chapter of "A Butterfly Effect." I haven't gotten very far, but I had to share this tidbit:

"He moved slowly towards the door, careful of where he placed his feet so as to not stomp on the tails of any of the other pups from the liter."

How many puppies are in a liter? Why must they be measured this way? I picture some sort of dispensary where you can walk up and say, "I'd like two liters of puppies to go, please. With extra ketchup."

I know it's a very easy and very common typo, but the circumstances amused me.

Yeah, its a common typo; should be spelled litre :p

To prevent ear leakage

"He caulked his head to the side as he stared up at the ceiling pondering her question."

I'm not even kidding. "After The Second Rise", chapter four. Yes, I made it that far. There are many like that. I'm beginning to collect them.

I like how the ceiling is

I like how the ceiling is pondering her question ...

Now I'm trying to

figure out a way to make that kind of thing make sense enough to write one.

I couldn't resist this one...

From A Different Beginning

Finally, it was time to head back to school. With so many people having to get packed, Harry began to wonder how they would fit in the old Ford Angelina that Mr. Weasley owned.

From Harry Potter And Broken

From Harry Potter And Broken Wands
They are discussing the rumored need for Veela to seduce males frequently. They hit them with the Veela Allure almost automatically, like blinking your eyes or breathing.

"Well it's a bit embarrassing so don't go tell everyone if they don't know it," Fleur said blushing slightly, "The male doesn't even notice of course but it's like… well… smelling them and it feels refreshing."

"With your nose?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"No not literary," Fleur said, "I just don't know how to explain the feeling."

I'm sure there is some clever pun I could fire off right now, but my brain is fried at the moment.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you strike me down now, I shall become more annoying than you could possibly imagine.

If I'd been drinking milk, it would have left via my nose

Reading a summary, and encountered this:

James Potter Jr believes he is the Boy-who-lived as does everyone else. What they don't know is that someone else has been doing it for him, someone who looks almost identicle to him.

For some reason, "identicle" made me laugh out loud. Then I noted the story's title: "The Assasin Who Lived."

Be careful not to miss any words...

From: "Forging Our Paths: Part I"

"Lily kissed her son's forehead before using her to turn off the lights."

- SC

It's not uncommon to see

It's not uncommon to see errors that reverse the meaning of a phrase from what one would expect was intended. Sometimes the effect of the reversed meaning can be amusing.

This example from "A Thin Red Line" by Dratsum had me laughing out loud.

"Last year with the DA, the members had been focused on deifying Umbridge, doing well on their NEWTS or OWLS."

- Neelix

SiblingCreature wrote: It's
SiblingCreature wrote:

It's not uncommon to see errors that reverse the meaning of a phrase from what one would expect was intended. Sometimes the effect of the reversed meaning can be amusing.

This example from "A Thin Red Line" by Dratsum had me laughing out loud.

"Last year with the DA, the members had been focused on deifying Umbridge, doing well on their NEWTS or OWLS."

- Neelix

The infamous 'spell checker says everything is ok so no need to proof read' monster strikes again. When are people going to learn?


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

The same story contains the

The same story contains the obligatory Room of Requirements and the perennial favourite 'Ancient Ruins' as an elective.

parakletos wrote: The same
parakletos wrote:

The same story contains the obligatory Room of Requirements and the perennial favourite 'Ancient Ruins' as an elective.

*snickers* You mean this isn't Hogwarts school of Witchcraft, Wizardry and Archaeology? ;-)

-SC

Got it in one!

Got it in one!

Two more, vaguely related

"it was a womb he'd acquired at the battle weeks before"

Quite an interesting curse.

"she ceased her menstruations, releasing him"

hopefully 'ministrations' was the intended word.

duckster wrote: "it was a
duckster wrote:

"it was a womb he'd acquired at the battle weeks before"

Quite an interesting curse.

"she ceased her menstruations, releasing him"

hopefully 'ministrations' was the intended word.

What story is that from?


A fish without a bicycle cannot contemplate his navel.

stories

"it was a womb he'd acquired at the battle weeks before" was from Andromeda The Forgotten Sister - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6851843/1/

"she ceased her menstruations, releasing him" was from Black Bond, Black Order - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6859434/1/

I just saw this on ffn and

I just saw this on ffn and had to laugh at the mental imagery:

Time Can Heel Almost Anything by MyOwnWorld1023
The War is over. Some are lost to death, while others are lost to their grief. some are broken in their body, most are broken in their mind. They say time can heel anything, but what about when the thing that is broken is their soul?
Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,042 - Published: 3h ago - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Ginny W.

I couldn't help picturing things slowly turning into shoes... :-) I also couldn't help noticing that they seem to have misspelled "sole" ;-)

- SC